Tuesday, March 18, 2014

I'm having a really bad day but you would never know

While most days I feel relatively normal, today I really feel like a person with a disability.

What you would see on the outside is a seemingly able-bodied person, going about her day doing seemingly normal things. She goes to the gym in the morning she drives to work she eats her lunch and she does her work. 

But here's what you don't see: you don't see her getting dry mouth from having elevated blood sugars. You don't see her trying not to step too hard on her right leg because she put her continuous glucose monitor there this morning and it twitches a nerve every time she steps. You don't see her stress levels rising because no matter what she does, they don't seem to come down, which is only making the situation worse. You don't see her vision getting blurry from having elevated blood sugars. You don't see her feeling shitty about herself because she can't seem to keep things in control. You don't see the sticky marks all over her body where she placed her various devices. You don't see her hunger when she wants to eat like a normal person but can't, knowing that if she eats too many carbs she'll really be in trouble. You don't see her trying to ignore her high blood sugars and do her work well she patiently wait for them to come down with little success, but eventually caving in and having to go straight to the gym to run until they come down. 

All you see is that lazy girl next-door leaving work early again. 

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